Nick, Julie, and a Bad Day in March

Image courtesy of Firesign Theater

By Grant Davies

On this day in 1917 AD and 44 BC, two dictators ended their reigns. One of them, a guy named Nickolas, abdicated his throne in Russia. The other, a guy named Julius, got "abdicated" by his brother-in-law and a few of his friends in Rome.

Even though Julie got his severance immediately, Nick had to wait a while for his post-employment package. But it was worth the almost year and a half wait because his family got severed, too -- a real rarity when someone gets RIFed. These layoffs can be "Brutal" sometimes.

I guess Nick had no sense of history because he readily accepted the title "czar" (short for Caesar) without considering what had happened to Julie some 1961 years earlier. It wasn't the only mistake he made.

Anyway, two of the guys who plotted against Julie, Cassius and Brutus, tried to take control of the empire without much long-term success. As a consolation for his firing, Caesar later had a salad named after him and much later a rock band called the "Ides of March."

The two who plotted against Nicholas, guy named Marx and his buddy Lenin, had greater success as replacement dictators, but ultimately those that followed them screwed up as badly as Nick and company had.

So just some advice for you readers about the 15th of March: one month from today is tax day in the American empire, so you better be prepared for some bloodletting of your own.